STORIES OF HOPE: A Glimpse Into The Lives Of Families With Neurodiverse Children (May 2025). By Dr. Shiro Torquato

Lindsey’s Story

May 2025

Many parents have concerns about their child.  Will they be happy?  How will they do in school?  Will they live a normal adult life?  They notice things in their child, such as limited speech for their age, or the child can’t sit still and focus on one activity.  Parents share these concerns with other family members or their child’s pediatrician.  Often times they are given conflicting information.  Some of this information is helpful and some could be hurtful.  If you are a parent who has gone through this experience, you are not alone.

There are many children who are considered neurodiverse.  They may have ADHD, a Learning Disability or be on the Autism Spectrum.  They may have other neurodevelopmental conditions that affect their ability to communicate, learn and socialize with peers and adults.  If you are a parent of one of these children, life can be very challenging.  You want to get answers to your questions, find ways to help your child meet their potential and bring peace to your family.

This series of articles will give you a glimpse into the lives of families who have shared your experiences and may be able to give you guidance and hope to start or continue the journey with your own neurodiverse child.

Meet Lindsey.  Her parents began having concerns when she was only six months old.  She had severe strabismus and had to wear baby eyeglasses.  By 12 months she began toe-walking and could not sit still in her toddler preschool class.  She required a one-on-one shadow in preschool.  She was finally diagnosed with cerebral palsy at age 2 ½ and ADHD not long after that.  Lindsey’s mother stated that “we were devasted by the diagnosis,” but also told by the doctors that this would not hold her back and she would only have mild coordination issues.  Her mother reported that Lindsey was highly intelligent and advanced in her speech. However, her parents were still worried about her future and felt that the diagnoses were not complete.  In elementary school, Lindsey was bullied by peers and her mother reported that at that time her biggest fears were about Lindsey’s social relationships at school.

When questioned about services or interventions, Lindsey’s mother reported that she started early intervention services in preschool, including physical therapy and occupational therapy.  She was granted an IEP and special education services beginning in kindergarten, which continued until the fourth grade.  She was also prescribed Ritalin, which helped manage her hyperactivity, and her parents involved her in community activities.  Her  mother reported that the most  helpful services were psychotherapy, physical therapy and occupational therapy.  In her teen years, Lindsey attended a non-public school with other students who had similar skills and needs.  This was a very positive environment in which she thrived, and this success continued into her college and adult years.

In addition, Lindsey’s parents faced many challenges.  These were more related to obtaining appropriate services through the school district and Regional Center.  One of the many challenges was not having a correct or complete diagnosis.  Her parents were told that Lindsey had mild cerebral palsy and ADHD, as well as a Non-Verbal Learning Disability and giftedness.  These labels were confusing and not helpful in obtaining all of the services that Lindsey required.  In fact, her mother reported that the school district attempted to exit her from the Special Education program,  and drop her down to a 504 accommodation plan, which did not offer her any services.  The parents fought these changes.  She also continued to be bullied, and the teachers and principal would not intervene.  Out of frustration, in the fourth grade, her parents enrolled Lindsey in a private school and her social relationships improved.  For the first time she made a few friends, was not bullied and received kind support from her teachers.  She also excelled academically.  Lindsey attended this private school until she entered high school.  Then she returned to public school for the ninth grade, to receive special education services.  At that time the challenges resumed.  Her mother reported that even though she qualified for an IEP due to her cerebral palsy, it was not followed.  Her grades dropped from As to Cs.  Her parents finally hired an advocate to assist them in securing an appropriate educational placement.  Her mother commented that the biggest struggle was “the constant fight against a backward system that was exhausting.”

Lindsey experienced many successes that she and her parents celebrated.  In her small private school, she excelled academically and made a few friends.  Her mother commented that these friends were on the Autism Spectrum. In the eleventh grade, Lindsey was finally given a correct diagnose that had been missed for so many years: Asperger’s Disorder.  She was also enrolled in a Non-Public School funded by the school district.  This school specialized in intellectually high functioning students on the Autism Spectrum.  Her mother reported that “she found her people” and resumed earning As, after her negative experience in public high school.  Lindsey was very popular - for the first time - at this specialized school and was voted prom queen in her senior year!  Lindsey attended a small private university and graduated with a BA in psychology. She worked as an ABA specialist after college and eventually retrained and earned a certificate in Computer Science. She was hired as a software engineer, works remotely and loves and excels in her job.

Lindsey is 31 years old now.  She has been in a long-term relationship with a young man she met at her specialized high school.  She has reached her educational goals and is working in a well-paying job.  Lindsey lives on her own in an apartment, but still needs a lot of  support/reminders from family members to keep up her daily living skills.  She is gradually learning independence.   Lindsey is very close to her mother, and they communicate almost daily.  Despite some of their concerns, her family and friends are so proud of what she has achieved.